This Sleeping Child...

Have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas...

Hope you are with your families and feeling loved and blessed!

 

"Mary, did you know... This sleeping child you are holding is the great I Am"

Want To Talk Stress, Aggravation And Depressing!!!

1 point!  Seriously??? Ugh!

 

I was sure they would support my feelings that Packers should consistently be beat!

 

Dez... ummm stop that.

 

Romo: what the heck?

 

Bailey:  Rockin' Aye!!!

 

I forgive you all - now straighten up and get in the play offs!

 

The Eagles can be beat, do it!

Loss - Ugh! Somebody Needs A Hug!

I have experienced a lot of loss this past year and yes - UGH!

But very important to me is the realization, in the storm of it all, is that so do a lot of people.  I, and my family, are just single grains of sand in all the beaches in all the world.  There are so many others that have losses, huge tragic losses and some with seemingly small losses or needs which just plain feel like big ones.  So this is life.  I don't know why.  I won't even try to explain it or understand it, it would drive me crazy.  My great realization is acceptance of it all.  I have spoken before of going to God with all the hard questions, not getting or expecting all the answers.  So acceptance is key for me.

I have in my blogging life almost always ended with be happy people!  Sometimes it is so hard hearing that or doing that, it seems like empty words or nails on a chalkboard I am sure.  But through prayer and grieving and messing up and even blowing it in a couple of cases, I have been given peace about it all.  Did my world get all rosy and peachy perfect, not at all.  I, like millions of others, am still in the middle of it, and I am not alone.  Do I still break or bend under the pressure of it all, yes I do.  But I know that I know that I know, God is in control and I trust Him.  Wait for it... He sends someone or something, even if it is just a thought, that lifts the heart.

It is Christmas time and I love, love, love Christmas time.  This year it is marred a little by losses.  But I am bound and determined to, although different, enjoy and be thankful for it!  Life really does go on and I accept that.

I asked my daughter how she wanted Christmas to go this year... she said "I just want to bake a cake and sing happy birthday Jesus."  Okay, I am good with that!

Overall, God has blessed me and He has been doing it all my life.  Bad things happen to all people, then good things happen to people.  Life, yep.  We gotta stick together people!  Pray for somebody, say Hi to somebody, help somebody, hug somebody.  Somebody needs a hug people and they think there is not one coming!

Once again, I choose Happy!  Be Happy People and think outside the box.  Do one big or tiny thing to help someone else be happy too, it will make you smile.

Words From A Song

Yesterday's a closing door, you don't live there anymore.

Words from a song, but boy did it hit my heart.  I felt grateful and excited for my life and the possibilities.

But I also heard the lyric say goodbye to where you've been... wow, the thought of the things and people that encompasses for me brought tears to my eyes.  For a moment a piece of my heart broke, a thing I have become accustom to of late.

Thank you God for the new doors, thank you Danny Gokey for a song that feels like it was written for me.

Tell Your Heart To Beat Again

Ummm... Lights Please!

My daughter sent me this thing that says...

When God closes a door and He hasn't opened the other door yet...

Praise the Lord in the hallway!

Very smart, just asking God to turn on the hall light, it is getting a little dark in here with all those doors being closed and all.

Foundation And Spaghetti

I am reminded of late that there may be hurricanes, a few tornadoes and an earthquake or two and our lives are hit and things get broken, torn up and we get shaken to the core.  I am also reminded of this, it is the foundation that counts.

I have a solid foundation, the load bearing walls are still standing and the support beams, although not pretty, are still in place.

I believe in phrases like "Peace be still..." and "Rise and walk..." and "Be still and know that I am God..."

I am so very grateful for the person God made me.  I believe in unconditional love, trust, mercy, faithfulness and forgiveness.  Compassion, empathy and temperance are part of me.  I happen to love the person God made me, I think I will stay that way.

Unfortunately and I don't know exactly when, why or how, I have allowed things, experiences and people to lead me to believe those are weaknesses, but not anymore.

I have been taught throughout my life and I fully believe and know from experiences and from God Himself -  that those are actually strengths, not weaknesses.

For a minute, I forgot this.  By the grace of God, I pray I don't forget it again.  He just so happens to be my very own Master Builder and He is on the job as I speak.

It is good God made me a Pollyanna, I like it.

So People, I am metaphorically throwing the spaghetti against the wall, let's see what sticks!

Even On The Worst Days ...

... there is the possibility for Joy.

Blue And Stay Away From My Baby!

Years ago, we ran cattle on our little ranch.  We started out with a couple then kept adding til we had a herd.  The subject of today is Blue.  She was a Blue Roan cow, we had her for years.  She was cantankerous as all get out and she ended up getting her way.

She knew us and we knew her and we both knew what she was capable of and in the battle of wills, she won.  We had separated pastures, some ours and some we leased.  We consistently moved the cattle around between those pastures for grazing and allowing the grass to replete itself.  When it came time to move the cattle the first time out of the main pasture, she wasn't having it.  She refused.  Husband tried everything outside of drugging her, picking her up (not going to happen, she was huge) and moving her, it wasn't going to happen.  She refused to move pastures.

After many various ideas and attempts, the last try was with a cedar fence post.  Through much aggravation, attempts and pure exhaustion on both parts, Blue made a run at husband, he, in self preservation, swung a cedar post at her and it broke over her head.  Cedar posts don't break.  It didn't faze her and he realized, her will was more determined than his and he gave up.  From that day on, all the cattle were moved periodically except Blue.  She stayed in the main pasture, always.

One of the exciting things about running cattle is the spring time when all the calves started being born, you watch, you wait and every once in awhile you see the new addition to your herd and it was great.  Most of the time it just happened, you didn't have to help or worry, just showed up one day.  Every once in awhile you got to witness the miracle and see that baby wobbling up to its feet and stumble around on its first steps on your land.  I remember one day kids were late to school because as we were leaving the house we stopped to watch one of our babies coming into the world.  Nice.

Ok so skip to Blue and one of her new babies.  She, of course, was the only cow in the field, she had recently given birth to one of her many babies.  On this day, her, her baby and husband were in the pasture across the fence from the house.  She was about 30 or 40 feet from husband while he was working on something.  I am standing somewhere close to the house and I can see Blue and husband across the pasture.  My son was also present along with Autumn, my daughter, which I am thinking about 6 years old.

At some point I notice Autumn running across the pasture and without any knowledge herself, she ran right past Blue's baby laying unnoticeable in the grass.  Blue is near by.  And I was close to panic while the first realizations hit me.  Aut was headed towards her dad and Blue was immediately right behind that small child.

Blue had a point to make.  So envision this, huge Blue was right on my tiny daughter's behind.  Aut realized this and picked up the pace like I had never seen her before.  She was running, shrieking towards her dad, Blue had her head down running after her.

Ok, stop.  All I could do was watch in fear and horror.  I was too far away.  Blue was 2 inches from my child, snorting with her nose just inches from my tiny little child.  She was protecting her baby and I had no shot at protecting mine. 

Husband immediately started running towards daughter and Blue.  He said he had no idea what he was going to do when he got to her because Blue had the power to plow both of them down, but he was running towards them just the same.

We realized that Blue could have at any moment picked Aut up with her head and tossed her into the air, she was that close.  She could have just run right over her, but she didn't.  When I said Blue knew us, we had her for years, it was like she was part of the family.  And this day she proved it.

When husband got to Aut, in nano seconds, he, in a flash, picked her up and got his body between her and Blue, but Blue had already stopped.  She just stopped, everybody stopped, it took a second for me to breath normal again.  It was as if she was making a point, keep the kids away from my baby or I will scare you all.  We believe she had no intention of hurting Aut, just making a point.  Wow.  My son, younger than Aut, was watching this whole event unfold, lessons learned the hard way!

Poor Aut, she took it well and to hear her tell this story, it is so much more detailed on her part!  No lasting horror for her, no inhibitions going forward.  It was part of our lives!  Again, wow.  It took me a minute to breath again and it wasn't too long that we were telling this story with humor!  Lots of laughing again.  (although for awhile, a quick thought would take my breath again)

My kids were raised with free run on all of this property.  They often, to this day, comment on how fun their childhood was and wish their own children had the never ending playground to grow up on.  Sometimes I cannot believe the endless imagination this spawned.  Although I do often think about the risks that were overshadowed by the experiences.  So different than how it is today.

So as for Blue, pay attention, it all boils down to knowing someone, even a cow, knowing the game plan.  I love you guys but pay attention to the boundaries, I will chase you!

Be Happy People! ... but don't test the big beast!

Hot Time In The City!!!

Or the country, doesn't matter, it is super hot in Texas!

Good grief, someone pull the shades, bring on the rain, shoot in amongst us, we gotta have some relief!

Sweltering, smothering, lake level lowering, AC killing, UV dominating heat.  After a certain time of day, even my beloved patio is a danger zone.  I love, love, love Texas but this is the time of year (came early, I think) that I wish I had a summer home somewhere else!

People are always surprised when we are playing in the sun while they are still in danger of snow or cold weather, but this is the down side.  Temps over 100 in July, August and sometimes September.  That is when we are lucky they don't start in June.

I was watching the weather the other day, fruitless at best.  And the familiar, huge circle over Texas with the big "H" marking the High that won't allow anything but high temps and no rain, just sits there.  Depressing, especially when they say it will be there awhile.  All around the big "H" circle, in the bordering states, there was rain and lower temps just dancing around us as if to harass us. 

I also saw on Facebook a picture of a once used deck with a long walkway just sitting in the middle of what seemed like a field of grass.  It was described as where the lake used to be in my home town, ugh!

Is this unusual?  No.  Is it OMG signs of global warming or apocalypse ahead?  No.  It is Texas.  On a year of less rain in April, May and June and the temps raise to over 100.  It happens.  It has been worse, I can remember a couple of years we went down in the history books of record weather.  So what do we do?  We don more sunscreen, drink more water, pay higher electric bills, forgo the make up that will just melt off anyway and wait for the break.

We will be rocking great temps when a lot of people will be seeing their first snowfall.  We will be wearing shorts to Ranger playoffs, Football and Halloween.  We won't rake leaves until way into November or December.  We will be sitting on patios at the restaurants.  We did that the other day and it became uncomfortable before we left, even in the shade it was hot.

It is our trade-off, we don't shovel snow, pretty much ever.  So, ok sun, go for it!  Just praying for some rain! 

Be Happy People and Texans - don't forget the sun block!!!

Alright Football!

Go Cowboys!!!!!

Jr.

I just want Dale Jr to Win!

62-50!

62-50!!!  Rangers beats the A's 4-0!

Dad And DadBob!

DadBob!

Not sure where that came from, the word DadBob, but I remember one day my dad said it.  Saying it and the reason why was one of the most hilarious things ever at the time.  One of those things you may not should have been laughing til you cried, but we did.  And this very same instance occurred multiple times with multiple persons along the way.  But never the same person twice, I am not sure but I don't think so.

Dad was gifted, a true horse whisperer.  I have said that before.  But he was a scoundrel too.  On this day he took a hit and his reaction was "DadBob!"  LOL.

Location: our small ranch years ago.  Subjects:  Dad and a glass door.  Because of my children, everyone called him Pop.  He and others were outside, out front.  I was inside with several others.  My front door was open, but there was a glass door which had no object, sticker, reflection or anything to announce to on-comers that it was in fact there and standing between you and the inside of the house.  It had always been there since we built the house, everybody (we thought) knew about the invisible glass door :)

So on this day, dad led a handful of people in effort to make their way inside the house.  For some strange reason, which always was the case, I and others were watching.  Dad was talking, must be where I got it, he talked all the time, he could put you in stitches with his stories, so he was not paying the closest attention.  And there was no time, in a split second I had no time for warning him.  He was about to walk into that door.  Hahaha.  Yes I am laughing while writing this!

And there it was, he slammed his walking, talking self head on into that door without slowing one tiny bit.  (Still laughing audibly while typing these words)  The vision of his body temporarily flattening by the force of natural walking speed into that glass door was instantly astounding.  A mixed moment of OMG, Wow that looked painful, followed by uncontrollable laughter (once, kind of, maybe a micro second after knowing he was ok?)  Not.

He almost always wore his Stetson, but this day he was wearing his cap and it smashed and went cocked off to the side and up his unsuspecting forehead at the moment of impact.  His nose smashed and his glasses were half way up his head on one side and looked a bit crumpled.  The thing is, umm glass door, we could see all of this as if in slow motion, but it only took a second.  Straight after the unsuspected impact, he bounced off the door and immediately exclaimed... DadBob!

Ok, well this just added to the rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes laughter among the bystanders.  You want to and try to muster a compassionate "are you ok?"  But seriously it was nigh impossible.  And any attempt at this is, well, totally understood by my dad, seemed completely, ridiculously insincere.  It would have been the exact moment of spewing tea or any beverage out your nose and mouth had you been unfortunate enough to have been drinking at that very moment.

And where the heck did DadBob come from?  Seriously, the fact that it was that word that came out of his mouth, just cracked everyone up even more.  I must look up the origin but I suspect all for naught, it won't be there.

He played it off like a champ!  Laughed with us all while straightening his cap and glasses, embarrassed I am sure, but around our circle of family and friends, being embarrassed was fruitless.  You might as well jump into the hilarity because it was going to happen.  It could not be dissuaded.  Not going to happen.  If I tell you I am laughing at myself, I mean it.  Cannot miss a moment when you can laugh instead of cry.  It is good for the soul.  Here it is sooooo many years later and I am laughing.  Love it.

There were other occasions with this same glass door.  Billy Jones' mom, older lady, did it also.  But she was madder than a wet hen, she did not laugh at all.  I think she may have hit her son for laughing and we, all those in the presence of this totally priceless situation, had to muffle and I mean muffle fast because she was the opposite of amused!  For the duration of her visit, she was mad and we could barely contain ourselves!  I felt so bad, but I was cracking up on the inside, can't even deny it.

Then there was our psycho kitty that no one knows what went on in her head, but she decided instantly one day to jump up and shoot out the door, ummm glass door.  Our laughter that day was preceded by a moment of shocked silence - what the heck!?  It was as if someone invisible had poked her with a cattle-prod... again, what the heck?!   Then laughter ensued... LOL!

I was reminded of these events because the other day I had a similar experience, all alone, but laughed just the same.  Mosquitoes are evil creatures and I have had to keep the screen on my patio door closed to aid in the fight against them.  Going out to the patio to drink my morning coffee, very early in the morning it was dark outside which totally made the screen invisible.  I didn't hit the screen full on, but I was leading with the full cup of coffee and it did.

I was momentarily shocked, like what the heck!  Coffee went everywhere.  I laughed.  Although irritated by the fact that I am having to get coffee out of the carpet instead of drinking it at such an early hour, I laughed.  Where are the guffaws, the comradery of family and friends when you need them????


Might as well Lighten Up People!  Laughing is a great thing!  Even at your own expense!

Welcome Back From Break Boys!

Judging A Griever?

I hope not! I have heard it many times, I have said it many times.  I had thought I was the shoe on the other foot before, but I had no idea until now.  Judging is like assuming, don't even do it unless you are ok with being terribly wrong, which is a possibility.  But judging a griever is so out of our jurisdiction.

Judging is never a good idea.  I thought I knew myself, I have lived with me for many years, I have been through a lot with myself, I should know me by now.  But a tragic loss, we can no way practice for that, we don't know how we or someone else is going to react. 

It is a blessing sometimes, shock, but it is a shroud of misunderstanding.  Of ourselves, of others, of our belief system and no one but God knows what is really going on there.  I wasn't ready and never would have been.  I had no idea of the danger signs, the correct choices I would not make, the clarity of mind I would not have and I am not the only one, believe me, I am not the only one. 

Grief is kind of like "operating heavy machinery" when you have taken certain prescriptions.  Or driving while under the influence.  The bad thing is, you don't know you shouldn't be, at the time you think you are A-OK!  In my thoughts/opinion, bad grief is the same, you are not ok.

 And people, you cannot imagine, know, predict or even change the way someone grieves, not even yourself.  So give them a break, count yourself blessed or lucky that you can't imagine what they feel, what is driving them to do or not do things and if you think you know exactly how they feel, check yourself.  

 Love, support, stand by, just be there if you care but don't be foolish enough to think you know everything.  Don't be mistaken enough to believe you could do better.  I pray you don't get the chance to find out.  

I believe that it is very important to let them know it is ok to not be ok right now, I won't hold it against you.

I choose to give myself a break.  I know I took a few wrong turns, still will I am sure, there is no timeline for grief.  But I do not intend to waste time judging, criticizing or blaming myself.  I give myself a break as well as others who are grieving.  I am going to keep going forward, live and deal with my actions and the consequences there of.  I will continue to get used to the life changes resulting from a tragedy I had no clue was going to take place.  Living the "... accept the things I cannot change...", it takes time.  Stand by people you care about, hold on, it takes time.

As usual, I am throwing my thoughts, my feelings, my life out into the universe with this blog.  I am not always right.  But hey, it's me, I say what I think, most of the time!  I love life, I love people and I love so many things, I think I will stay that way!

Be Happy People! And try your best to help other people be happy too! Everybody wins when you succeed!

Cloudcroft - Soothing My Soul With A Memory!

Love, love, love the thunder and rain!  Just doesn't ever last long enough in Texas!  It is much needed here.  Outside is uncharacteristically cloudy, not cool, but not 100 degrees either :)

This weather (minus the heat) reminds me of a quaint little town on the side of a mountain in south New Mexico, Cloudcroft.

(This is not the same cabin, I got this pic off off a Cloudcroft website.)

Years ago, we went to this place for the first time and stayed in a cabin on the side of the mountain just before we reached the little town itself.  We took a little road off the main road, wound up the side of a mountain to the back of the cabin.  The back of the cabin was level with the ground, the front of the cabin was about 25 to 30 feet off the ground on stilts.  It was surrounded by pine trees and a slow drizzly rain speckled around us as we unloaded our stuff to stay a few days.

The cabin had plenty of room, not glamorous but totally good for our stay.  There was a fireplace, which we needed and enjoyed.  There is something so perfect about a mountain cabin fireplace, it fills the room and surrounds you with the sounds of crackling firewood and images of dancing firelight.  Knowing that just outside that door you are surrounded by mountains, pine trees and the familiar crisp chilled air that only the mountain elevation can give you.  It soothes the soul, sigh.

High off the ground was a good size deck where we sat in chairs and enjoyed the view.  The view from the deck looked across the main road at another side of a mountain.  There was no snow at this time, but we could see the skeletal looking ski lift, stationary and looking as if it were resting, just waiting for the snow to fall and the skiers to arrive.

The cabin inside had an upstairs and the first night we had a visitor inside, way up in the rafters, a bat.  There was a battle for occupancy and we won.

Cloudcroft is said to be "On the top of the world" and is in the Lincoln National Forest.  It is over 8000 feet elevation.  Over the mountain and down the other side is Alamogordo, much lower elevation and much hotter in temperature.  We stayed there about 15 minutes and then went back up the mountain.

But let's talk about the town itself.  We drove into this little old fashioned town to see what there was to do.  What we found was quaint but fun experiences.  A putt-putt course on the side of the mountain.  We went well into Fall and there were leaves all over the course and we had to wear jackets to play.  Simple, fun and the scenery was excellent.  As it got dark we found a bowling alley.  The old fashion way was preserved here.  The pins were replaced each time by hand, by kids.  Never saw that before!  There was a huge circular fire place and after dark it was needed, very nice experience.

The rolling thunder, cloudy skies and drizzling rain that occurred here in hot Texas tonight reminded me of that little town.  Only thing missing was the falling leaves, the mountain views and of course the chilly temps.  So I do believe my memory/imagination made a leap, don't you!!!?

I have visited Cloudcroft several times on many trips to New Mexico, but I haven't been in quite awhile.  I wonder if it is the same, I wonder if it would again, leave me with these dreamy memories.  :)  Probably not, but who knows!  But I think I would like to try and see!  Any trip to New Mexico is a good idea.

Be Happy People!  What soothes your soul?  Think about it and you know what, do it again!

Hard But Worth It

Very often the journey to God's will is painful. But arriving at His will is Amazing! Keep the faith people, keep moving, the destination is worth it. Be Happy People! I know sometimes it is not easy, but it is not impossible. Happy is a choice... Go for it, what's there to lose right!

It's OK, Do You Hear Me?

It doesn't matter what you have ever or will ever do, nothing will ever make me stop loving you.

My love has always been very tolerant and completely unconditional, but I wish I had said it at least one more time.  One more time.  I used to always say what I feel when I am feeling it, when did I stop doing that?  I wish I had told you one more time.  Everything is ok, I love you no matter what!

Give Me A Minute...

Drawing by Autumn Ives Simo

I know, I know, I know I am acting different, but give me a minute...
Like it or not, one 5 minute phone call, boom, I don't have control over anything.  Of course when did I ever right?
It is hard being tender hearted and strong at the same time, it makes for much mixed emotions.
My daughter and I call it Quad-polar:
Happy
Sad
Angry
Blank
And it is like musical chairs, I never know when the change up is coming!
And yes, if you are in my life, you get to experience it!  :)
It's temporary!  Get over it!  Hang with me!  There are more smiles and laughter than before, so I am on the right track.  God is good and life is anything but boring!

Be Happy People!  And if you aren't happy for a minute, be patient with yourself, change up is on its way!

(There is a beautiful story behind Autie's drawing, I will tell it sometime or I will let her tell it.)

I Cried On A Jetty

I took a day and went to the beach.  If you know me this is a place I love.  It brings me happiness, thoughtfulness, peace and awe.

I drove down and parked by the seawall.  Got out and took a picture of the water, the seemingly never ending waves stretching out across to the horizon.  Speckled with ships way out where the water and the sky meet, waiting, paused in their journeys.

I walked the seawall and at the top of a stairway to the sand I took off my sandals and made my way down.  My feet sunk down into the sand and I wiggled my toes, let the sand sift through them warming my feet and reminding me of where I was.

As I walked towards the water, I watched the few people across the way and of course, the seagulls.  The birds were flying around accepting bits of food from those people.  Others were standing in groups on the wet sand where the waves roll in.  I noticed they were all facing outward as if to watch the water, the horizon, the ships as I always do.  I walked towards them slowly, hoping I would not make them fly away, but rather stand amongst them, join them in their watch.

As my bare feet reached the wet sand and although the water was cold, I welcomed the feeling.  Feeling something, anything other than the pain in my heart was welcome at this time.  I walked out far enough for the waves coming in to wash over my feet and legs.  The chill of it would take my breath for a moment, but I stood and allowed it.  I turned my face toward the horizon, the waves, the wind and the sun.  The sun was warm and I felt at home.  I felt at peace.

To my left was the jetty.  Huge cut blocks of marble placed there years ago to allow people like myself to walk out past the shore.  So I made my way out towards the end of the jetty.  The further out I got, the more intense the waves.  I found myself half way out and sat on one of the huge blocks.  The waves crashing against the jetty would, from time to time, spray across my skin.  Again, it felt good, made me feel awake and alive.

I closed my eyes and began to cry.  I cried and I prayed aloud and asked God all the hard questions.  Questions I knew I would probably not get answers to in my lifetime.  I continued this for almost an hour.  I needed to talk to God, I needed to cry to my God and allow Him to hear me lament, complain, question and just plain come to Him in my great need.

Thank you God for allowing me these times to feel out loud, for my belief and for allowing me happiness in the midst of my grief.  I trust You unconditionally and I thank You for that also.

I choose to be ok people, I choose to be happy, I choose to let God take care of the things I cannot.

Did I Say Life Is Short? Yes I did

Dark days, I have to say it - I lost my grandson.  Life is short people, tell your people you love them constantly, hug them as much as you can and yes, be happy.  Be very happy while you can, it prepares you and others around you for the dark days.

How many times can one person's heart break and still keep living.  I don't know the answer to that, but it seems the answer for me is many.  I don't get it, I really don't but I accept it.  I think that is the key to a lot is that I may not understand God or the universe or life or death but I accept that I don't or won't.  Life is short and we have to keep living it, getting past the bad and keep living it.

God let me get happy again prior to this and it saved me for this one.  God sent me a guardian angel and I cannot imagine having gotten through that horrible, unimaginable week without my guardian angel.  Thank you.

The Whys? I know are not over and I know I will continue to have dark days ahead, but I will not go away again.  I will not stop living.  I will not stop being happy.  Sounds strange but I pretty much checked out before and I am determined not to do it again, it does not solve anything, it does not make the bad go away.  It actually makes the bad a way of life, it hangs around because I let it and it won't happen, again God willing and my determination doesn't falter.

I thought for a minute that I could not imagine writing again, there seemed no way I could type, think, feel or write after this tragedy.  But I reminded myself of what that would mean, so I am putting fingers to keys and will continue to do so, again, God willing and my determination doesn't falter.

I love you Dylan, my heart breaks everyday that I cannot hold you, that I cannot tell you again that I love you, that I will love you and miss you forever until I see you again in heaven.  I love you.

Fly high baby.

The Sky Was Gray, The Sky Was Beautiful

Traveling as you all know I do, it always gives me something to write about.

This one is about Pittsburgh or actually Cranberry Township outside of Pittsburgh.  This was my 2nd visit.
I stayed at a great hotel, Hilton Garden Inn.  Great place to stay and really wonderful people, they take care of you.   Special shout out to Brian and Lisa, I have new friends for life and I cannot wait to see you again!
Lisa, beautiful girl, have fun, but take care of you!
Brian, I am so very glad to have met such a wonderful person.  You are going to have a wonderful life my friend.  And I am not jumping out of a plane!  Zip lining in Costa Rica, I am there!
Melonie girl, I love you, instant friend you really took care of me!

Several others that were wonderful and now part of the pieces of my life, Hannah, Amber, Erin, Kristin - great people.

Ok, down to creative business, very important here - let me remind you, I love to experience.  Did you get that - I love to experience, if you know me, I lost it and now it is back a hundred fold. 

Let's start with the weather, I joked in January, who goes to Pittsburgh in January on purpose.
Being a Texican and living mostly in the sun, this is the opposite.

Snow, rain, snow again and again.  Yes I have griped about the big coat I hate, walking in the slush, driving in it, and most of all, I can't wear my pretty strappy sandals!!!  Many days of gray skies, I wonder if people here don't get depressed easily.  I met many people and they are used to it just like I am used to sunny and sometimes unbearably hot.

So I decided to look at it a different way.  I was standing outside this morning, not quite dawn, it was snowing.  I did as I have talked about in the Texas rain, turned my face upwards and watched it fall.  It is not depressing but rather quite serene, beautiful and calming.

If you think from the right direction it is quite magical really.  It was quiet and peaceful, the perfect place to think and to dream. 

The air was filled with big, floating, beautiful snow flakes making their way down to join other large snowflakes with the unique purpose of blanketing the ground.

The sky was gray, but the perfect background for seeing the flakes clearly, a canvas if you will.

It was there that ideas for writing started flowing into my head.

There are so many things, places, people out there to fill that desire I have to experience.  Decide to find, see and experience the beautiful in all of those things, slow down so you won't miss it, look for it.

Being happy is my thing, but there are times when I am having those moments of kind of not happy right this minute.  I truly love those times when we stop and think and feel, be pensive and thoughtful from time to time. 

People!  Slow everything down for a minute and dream, the results are amazing.

Happy Again In The Rain!

Hey People!

I have been away, but intend to pick up the Moody pace!
As you all know I have been sad for awhile but I want you to know that life is good again!

I was outside this morning and in Texas it is chilly and raining.  I first thought, I am sick of cold!  I am a sun baby and I want the sun!  But further thinking I reminded myself that I should not wish time away.  Time passes too quickly and although I am so ready for spring, I do not want time to fly.

A couple of weeks ago I was outside, I like outside, and saw hundreds of birds flying north.  Poor babies they are so confused in Texas.  This morning I saw hundreds of birds flying south, so not sure what we have in store for weather.  I have to keep reminding myself it is only February and winter is not officially over.

And it is raining, I love this slow calming rain.  It cleans the air and it makes me feel lots of things.  This morning it was comforting, calming and a little dreamy.  It reminded me of different times in my life where I was experiencing the rain, times that made me happy.  Happy, remember happy?  There was a break in the rain and I just stood there facing the tiny breeze and closed my eyes enjoying the feeling.  Dreaming of rainy days, times and places in my life, in the past and yet to come.  Good times, not one bad time came to my mind.  Total peace.

So Moody is back to happy!  Happy Rocks!

Slow start?  Maybe, but I will get back to writing, just one of many, many things that I am coming back to.

And as I always say... Be Happy People, if you aren't, find your happy.  Pick one thing that makes you happy and do it, it is so worth it.  Life is short, stop wasting time!