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Judging A Griever?

I hope not! I have heard it many times, I have said it many times.  I had thought I was the shoe on the other foot before, but I had no idea until now.  Judging is like assuming, don't even do it unless you are ok with being terribly wrong, which is a possibility.  But judging a griever is so out of our jurisdiction.

Judging is never a good idea.  I thought I knew myself, I have lived with me for many years, I have been through a lot with myself, I should know me by now.  But a tragic loss, we can no way practice for that, we don't know how we or someone else is going to react. 

It is a blessing sometimes, shock, but it is a shroud of misunderstanding.  Of ourselves, of others, of our belief system and no one but God knows what is really going on there.  I wasn't ready and never would have been.  I had no idea of the danger signs, the correct choices I would not make, the clarity of mind I would not have and I am not the only one, believe me, I am not the only one. 

Grief is kind of like "operating heavy machinery" when you have taken certain prescriptions.  Or driving while under the influence.  The bad thing is, you don't know you shouldn't be, at the time you think you are A-OK!  In my thoughts/opinion, bad grief is the same, you are not ok.

 And people, you cannot imagine, know, predict or even change the way someone grieves, not even yourself.  So give them a break, count yourself blessed or lucky that you can't imagine what they feel, what is driving them to do or not do things and if you think you know exactly how they feel, check yourself.  

 Love, support, stand by, just be there if you care but don't be foolish enough to think you know everything.  Don't be mistaken enough to believe you could do better.  I pray you don't get the chance to find out.  

I believe that it is very important to let them know it is ok to not be ok right now, I won't hold it against you.

I choose to give myself a break.  I know I took a few wrong turns, still will I am sure, there is no timeline for grief.  But I do not intend to waste time judging, criticizing or blaming myself.  I give myself a break as well as others who are grieving.  I am going to keep going forward, live and deal with my actions and the consequences there of.  I will continue to get used to the life changes resulting from a tragedy I had no clue was going to take place.  Living the "... accept the things I cannot change...", it takes time.  Stand by people you care about, hold on, it takes time.

As usual, I am throwing my thoughts, my feelings, my life out into the universe with this blog.  I am not always right.  But hey, it's me, I say what I think, most of the time!  I love life, I love people and I love so many things, I think I will stay that way!

Be Happy People! And try your best to help other people be happy too! Everybody wins when you succeed!

Cloudcroft - Soothing My Soul With A Memory!

Love, love, love the thunder and rain!  Just doesn't ever last long enough in Texas!  It is much needed here.  Outside is uncharacteristically cloudy, not cool, but not 100 degrees either :)

This weather (minus the heat) reminds me of a quaint little town on the side of a mountain in south New Mexico, Cloudcroft.

(This is not the same cabin, I got this pic off off a Cloudcroft website.)

Years ago, we went to this place for the first time and stayed in a cabin on the side of the mountain just before we reached the little town itself.  We took a little road off the main road, wound up the side of a mountain to the back of the cabin.  The back of the cabin was level with the ground, the front of the cabin was about 25 to 30 feet off the ground on stilts.  It was surrounded by pine trees and a slow drizzly rain speckled around us as we unloaded our stuff to stay a few days.

The cabin had plenty of room, not glamorous but totally good for our stay.  There was a fireplace, which we needed and enjoyed.  There is something so perfect about a mountain cabin fireplace, it fills the room and surrounds you with the sounds of crackling firewood and images of dancing firelight.  Knowing that just outside that door you are surrounded by mountains, pine trees and the familiar crisp chilled air that only the mountain elevation can give you.  It soothes the soul, sigh.

High off the ground was a good size deck where we sat in chairs and enjoyed the view.  The view from the deck looked across the main road at another side of a mountain.  There was no snow at this time, but we could see the skeletal looking ski lift, stationary and looking as if it were resting, just waiting for the snow to fall and the skiers to arrive.

The cabin inside had an upstairs and the first night we had a visitor inside, way up in the rafters, a bat.  There was a battle for occupancy and we won.

Cloudcroft is said to be "On the top of the world" and is in the Lincoln National Forest.  It is over 8000 feet elevation.  Over the mountain and down the other side is Alamogordo, much lower elevation and much hotter in temperature.  We stayed there about 15 minutes and then went back up the mountain.

But let's talk about the town itself.  We drove into this little old fashioned town to see what there was to do.  What we found was quaint but fun experiences.  A putt-putt course on the side of the mountain.  We went well into Fall and there were leaves all over the course and we had to wear jackets to play.  Simple, fun and the scenery was excellent.  As it got dark we found a bowling alley.  The old fashion way was preserved here.  The pins were replaced each time by hand, by kids.  Never saw that before!  There was a huge circular fire place and after dark it was needed, very nice experience.

The rolling thunder, cloudy skies and drizzling rain that occurred here in hot Texas tonight reminded me of that little town.  Only thing missing was the falling leaves, the mountain views and of course the chilly temps.  So I do believe my memory/imagination made a leap, don't you!!!?

I have visited Cloudcroft several times on many trips to New Mexico, but I haven't been in quite awhile.  I wonder if it is the same, I wonder if it would again, leave me with these dreamy memories.  :)  Probably not, but who knows!  But I think I would like to try and see!  Any trip to New Mexico is a good idea.

Be Happy People!  What soothes your soul?  Think about it and you know what, do it again!

Hard But Worth It

Very often the journey to God's will is painful. But arriving at His will is Amazing! Keep the faith people, keep moving, the destination is worth it. Be Happy People! I know sometimes it is not easy, but it is not impossible. Happy is a choice... Go for it, what's there to lose right!