Judging A Griever?

I hope not! I have heard it many times, I have said it many times.  I had thought I was the shoe on the other foot before, but I had no idea until now.  Judging is like assuming, don't even do it unless you are ok with being terribly wrong, which is a possibility.  But judging a griever is so out of our jurisdiction.

Judging is never a good idea.  I thought I knew myself, I have lived with me for many years, I have been through a lot with myself, I should know me by now.  But a tragic loss, we can no way practice for that, we don't know how we or someone else is going to react. 

It is a blessing sometimes, shock, but it is a shroud of misunderstanding.  Of ourselves, of others, of our belief system and no one but God knows what is really going on there.  I wasn't ready and never would have been.  I had no idea of the danger signs, the correct choices I would not make, the clarity of mind I would not have and I am not the only one, believe me, I am not the only one. 

Grief is kind of like "operating heavy machinery" when you have taken certain prescriptions.  Or driving while under the influence.  The bad thing is, you don't know you shouldn't be, at the time you think you are A-OK!  In my thoughts/opinion, bad grief is the same, you are not ok.

 And people, you cannot imagine, know, predict or even change the way someone grieves, not even yourself.  So give them a break, count yourself blessed or lucky that you can't imagine what they feel, what is driving them to do or not do things and if you think you know exactly how they feel, check yourself.  

 Love, support, stand by, just be there if you care but don't be foolish enough to think you know everything.  Don't be mistaken enough to believe you could do better.  I pray you don't get the chance to find out.  

I believe that it is very important to let them know it is ok to not be ok right now, I won't hold it against you.

I choose to give myself a break.  I know I took a few wrong turns, still will I am sure, there is no timeline for grief.  But I do not intend to waste time judging, criticizing or blaming myself.  I give myself a break as well as others who are grieving.  I am going to keep going forward, live and deal with my actions and the consequences there of.  I will continue to get used to the life changes resulting from a tragedy I had no clue was going to take place.  Living the "... accept the things I cannot change...", it takes time.  Stand by people you care about, hold on, it takes time.

As usual, I am throwing my thoughts, my feelings, my life out into the universe with this blog.  I am not always right.  But hey, it's me, I say what I think, most of the time!  I love life, I love people and I love so many things, I think I will stay that way!

Be Happy People! And try your best to help other people be happy too! Everybody wins when you succeed!