How many times can one person's heart break and still keep living. I don't know the answer to that, but it seems the answer for me is many. I don't get it, I really don't but I accept it. I think that is the key to a lot is that I may not understand God or the universe or life or death but I accept that I don't or won't. Life is short and we have to keep living it, getting past the bad and keep living it.
God let me get happy again prior to this and it saved me for this one. God sent me a guardian angel and I cannot imagine having gotten through that horrible, unimaginable week without my guardian angel. Thank you.
The Whys? I know are not over and I know I will continue to have dark days ahead, but I will not go away again. I will not stop living. I will not stop being happy. Sounds strange but I pretty much checked out before and I am determined not to do it again, it does not solve anything, it does not make the bad go away. It actually makes the bad a way of life, it hangs around because I let it and it won't happen, again God willing and my determination doesn't falter.
I thought for a minute that I could not imagine writing again, there seemed no way I could type, think, feel or write after this tragedy. But I reminded myself of what that would mean, so I am putting fingers to keys and will continue to do so, again, God willing and my determination doesn't falter.
I love you Dylan, my heart breaks everyday that I cannot hold you, that I cannot tell you again that I love you, that I will love you and miss you forever until I see you again in heaven. I love you.
Fly high baby.
3 comments:
Beva, my heart broke for you (and all the family) when I heard that news. So much sadness was the theme for last week...I attended 3 funerals myself. But totally stand in agreement with you! Life is too short, tell those you love that you do (love them), and be happy and shine with the light He has given us! Love ya girl!
Becky Bray Harris
I'm so sorry Beva. My prayers have been with all of you and I will continue to pray for all of you as your dealing with this. I know no words can describe how you all are feeling. And no words from me will help. Just know you have my love and prayers.
I love you all!
Cory
The loss of Dylan is so painful. We all say things like... What if..... Put those aside, it will hold you down to where you can't breath a peaceful moment. Prayers of comfort and Thank you Jesus for the peace that passes all understanding, because we do not have all the answers. I love my family much. Call on me if you need me. The least I can do is act like an idiot and distract you, like I do best.
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