Self Check

WWJD?
Love, serve and be kind to everyone, not just those who deserve it.
Are our heart doors open or do we have them locked up tight?
Do we only feed the well fed?
Heal only the well?
Hide the Light under a bushel or inside the "safe" walls?
Who are we turning our back on today because we are good and they are not?
The buried Talent is worthless.

I Tripped At The World!

Ok, strange title I know!  But it will become clear.

I have come back to a love of mine that I had put aside for a few years.  Reading.  If you know me, you know I love books.  I always have and I have tons of them and have read almost every one.

I finally went to the library in this town I have been in for a few years.  I had passed it many times and said one day, one day...  I finally did and it is not a huge library, small really, but it is a very busy place.  It doesn't have all the books I am looking for but it has many.  In the last 3 months I have read probably 20 books.  Page turners really excite me, I have to be careful though I will read at night, too late because I can't put it down.  I should be a critic.  Oh wait, I think I am!

Everybody has heard that reading books takes you places, let's you experience the writer's adventures.  It is so true, it broadens the mind.  Actually opens you up for ideas and possibilities that you would not have thought of before.

I have this thing, I don't just want to read them I want to own them but I have really put this library to use.  I am reading books I haven't read yet, some that I had read before a long time ago and I love it.

This library has many things to offer.  I take my niece as often as I can, she is a tween and broadening the mind early is important to me so I encourage her to expand her world.  Reading is a great way to do that.  This is all of course for the 5 minutes she is not on her iPod!

In the lobby there is a huge world globe that slowly circles around for your viewing pleasure.  It is about 6 feet tall fixed to a revolving base.  This all sits in an area filled with large blue glass looking rocks surrounded by a one foot tall ledge, just right for stepping up on it to see higher places on the globe, which I have of course.

With my niece one day, we decided to look at places on the globe that coincided with a couple of current events in the news lately.  Well remember my klutz stories??? Not as bad as though but yeah, toe of sandal caught the edge of that ledge just before I could secure my step up and look position!

Good grief!  I just laughed out loud thinking of the most important piece of this story, I am with a tween and embarrassment of adults is always lying just below the surface with them!  So there you have it, not a total crash and burn as it could have been but just enough to have my knee hit the top of the ledge, painful, and of course my hands, without pre-brain knowledge, in the blue glass looking rocks to avoid disaster.  So I did not fall down but all the same, unnatural contact was accomplished.

I recovered quickly, like are you kidding me???  But then I immediately thought and internally laughed at how my niece was feeling at that moment.  I would not have been surprised if she had walked on past like she didn't know me at all :)  But she is cool, and she thinks I am cool most of the time, we laughed together.

You know you try to be a good influence on a kid, then you go and tripped at the world!

What are you reading right now? 
I am reading
The Secret On Ararat... Fiction - Biblical Archeology
Texas Rangers History... Non Fiction, doing research on the law enforcement Rangers (4 books)
and of course the Bible... studying prophecies, Daniel and interestingly, did you know blaspheme is also called railing?  Hmmmmm.

God's Not Dead, He Is Not Even Missing!

Through all the chaos, tragedy and loss it felt as though my mind was a radio not quite on the station.  The static was there but I couldn't put my finger on it.  I couldn't wrap my brain around all that was going on and the "whys" were piling up like an avalanche gone amuck. 

It's been over a year now and several losses later I am finally realizing something He wanted me to know.  My life compass was spinning around without clear direction.  God is great, He really is, but so many times we just cannot fathom His plan, His thought process or what He is trying to do for us. 

This something is a very simple point or lesson, if you will.  Like where was my mind??  Well it was off kilter, it was.

Very simply it dawned on me today that through all my upsets, losses and just plain lack of happy, God wanted me to know, to feel and to remember that I am not alone.  When I need a hug, when I need someone to hold me or tell me everything is going to be alright, I should think of Him first.  I am nor will I ever be alone, He is my comfort.  He is with me always and I needed to be reminded of that.

As is the case, sometimes in our life, He allows us to be in a valley, wander in the wilderness, be sad, feel alone just to simply remind us He holds the correct compass that never fails, ever.

Do I still have whys?  Yes.  Do I still have issues not yet resolved?  Yes.  But I am relaxed in the fact that He is what I have always known and trusted Him to be.  My Father, my shelter in the storm, my protector in the battles and the One who made me, loves me and I need to recognize Him, put Him first no matter what.  He is everything to me. 

Was I a bad person, who fell off a huge wagon somewhere, no.  I was hurt, my heart was hurt.  Still is in some ways, but the healing is in effect and I know it and I feel it.

Needless to say when I finally got this, this simple and huge lesson lovingly taught to me, it was like wow.  How simple was that, we make things so hard sometimes.  I know Whom I have believed and He is able.  And He is more patient than I deserve.  I love Him :)  Don't get me wrong, I knew all of this but I wasn't acting on it, I sought elsewhere, I did not literally go to Him first, put Him first, He requires this and I knew that.  If there was no one else in my life, would He be enough... Yes Sir, more than, I get it.

So let's get back on the road to happy people!  I think I will write some stories again!

This Sleeping Child...

Have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas...

Hope you are with your families and feeling loved and blessed!

 

"Mary, did you know... This sleeping child you are holding is the great I Am"

Want To Talk Stress, Aggravation And Depressing!!!

1 point!  Seriously??? Ugh!

 

I was sure they would support my feelings that Packers should consistently be beat!

 

Dez... ummm stop that.

 

Romo: what the heck?

 

Bailey:  Rockin' Aye!!!

 

I forgive you all - now straighten up and get in the play offs!

 

The Eagles can be beat, do it!

Loss - Ugh! Somebody Needs A Hug!

I have experienced a lot of loss this past year and yes - UGH!

But very important to me is the realization, in the storm of it all, is that so do a lot of people.  I, and my family, are just single grains of sand in all the beaches in all the world.  There are so many others that have losses, huge tragic losses and some with seemingly small losses or needs which just plain feel like big ones.  So this is life.  I don't know why.  I won't even try to explain it or understand it, it would drive me crazy.  My great realization is acceptance of it all.  I have spoken before of going to God with all the hard questions, not getting or expecting all the answers.  So acceptance is key for me.

I have in my blogging life almost always ended with be happy people!  Sometimes it is so hard hearing that or doing that, it seems like empty words or nails on a chalkboard I am sure.  But through prayer and grieving and messing up and even blowing it in a couple of cases, I have been given peace about it all.  Did my world get all rosy and peachy perfect, not at all.  I, like millions of others, am still in the middle of it, and I am not alone.  Do I still break or bend under the pressure of it all, yes I do.  But I know that I know that I know, God is in control and I trust Him.  Wait for it... He sends someone or something, even if it is just a thought, that lifts the heart.

It is Christmas time and I love, love, love Christmas time.  This year it is marred a little by losses.  But I am bound and determined to, although different, enjoy and be thankful for it!  Life really does go on and I accept that.

I asked my daughter how she wanted Christmas to go this year... she said "I just want to bake a cake and sing happy birthday Jesus."  Okay, I am good with that!

Overall, God has blessed me and He has been doing it all my life.  Bad things happen to all people, then good things happen to people.  Life, yep.  We gotta stick together people!  Pray for somebody, say Hi to somebody, help somebody, hug somebody.  Somebody needs a hug people and they think there is not one coming!

Once again, I choose Happy!  Be Happy People and think outside the box.  Do one big or tiny thing to help someone else be happy too, it will make you smile.

Words From A Song

Yesterday's a closing door, you don't live there anymore.

Words from a song, but boy did it hit my heart.  I felt grateful and excited for my life and the possibilities.

But I also heard the lyric say goodbye to where you've been... wow, the thought of the things and people that encompasses for me brought tears to my eyes.  For a moment a piece of my heart broke, a thing I have become accustom to of late.

Thank you God for the new doors, thank you Danny Gokey for a song that feels like it was written for me.

Tell Your Heart To Beat Again

Ummm... Lights Please!

My daughter sent me this thing that says...

When God closes a door and He hasn't opened the other door yet...

Praise the Lord in the hallway!

Very smart, just asking God to turn on the hall light, it is getting a little dark in here with all those doors being closed and all.

Foundation And Spaghetti

I am reminded of late that there may be hurricanes, a few tornadoes and an earthquake or two and our lives are hit and things get broken, torn up and we get shaken to the core.  I am also reminded of this, it is the foundation that counts.

I have a solid foundation, the load bearing walls are still standing and the support beams, although not pretty, are still in place.

I believe in phrases like "Peace be still..." and "Rise and walk..." and "Be still and know that I am God..."

I am so very grateful for the person God made me.  I believe in unconditional love, trust, mercy, faithfulness and forgiveness.  Compassion, empathy and temperance are part of me.  I happen to love the person God made me, I think I will stay that way.

Unfortunately and I don't know exactly when, why or how, I have allowed things, experiences and people to lead me to believe those are weaknesses, but not anymore.

I have been taught throughout my life and I fully believe and know from experiences and from God Himself -  that those are actually strengths, not weaknesses.

For a minute, I forgot this.  By the grace of God, I pray I don't forget it again.  He just so happens to be my very own Master Builder and He is on the job as I speak.

It is good God made me a Pollyanna, I like it.

So People, I am metaphorically throwing the spaghetti against the wall, let's see what sticks!

Even On The Worst Days ...

... there is the possibility for Joy.

Blue And Stay Away From My Baby!

Years ago, we ran cattle on our little ranch.  We started out with a couple then kept adding til we had a herd.  The subject of today is Blue.  She was a Blue Roan cow, we had her for years.  She was cantankerous as all get out and she ended up getting her way.

She knew us and we knew her and we both knew what she was capable of and in the battle of wills, she won.  We had separated pastures, some ours and some we leased.  We consistently moved the cattle around between those pastures for grazing and allowing the grass to replete itself.  When it came time to move the cattle the first time out of the main pasture, she wasn't having it.  She refused.  Husband tried everything outside of drugging her, picking her up (not going to happen, she was huge) and moving her, it wasn't going to happen.  She refused to move pastures.

After many various ideas and attempts, the last try was with a cedar fence post.  Through much aggravation, attempts and pure exhaustion on both parts, Blue made a run at husband, he, in self preservation, swung a cedar post at her and it broke over her head.  Cedar posts don't break.  It didn't faze her and he realized, her will was more determined than his and he gave up.  From that day on, all the cattle were moved periodically except Blue.  She stayed in the main pasture, always.

One of the exciting things about running cattle is the spring time when all the calves started being born, you watch, you wait and every once in awhile you see the new addition to your herd and it was great.  Most of the time it just happened, you didn't have to help or worry, just showed up one day.  Every once in awhile you got to witness the miracle and see that baby wobbling up to its feet and stumble around on its first steps on your land.  I remember one day kids were late to school because as we were leaving the house we stopped to watch one of our babies coming into the world.  Nice.

Ok so skip to Blue and one of her new babies.  She, of course, was the only cow in the field, she had recently given birth to one of her many babies.  On this day, her, her baby and husband were in the pasture across the fence from the house.  She was about 30 or 40 feet from husband while he was working on something.  I am standing somewhere close to the house and I can see Blue and husband across the pasture.  My son was also present along with Autumn, my daughter, which I am thinking about 6 years old.

At some point I notice Autumn running across the pasture and without any knowledge herself, she ran right past Blue's baby laying unnoticeable in the grass.  Blue is near by.  And I was close to panic while the first realizations hit me.  Aut was headed towards her dad and Blue was immediately right behind that small child.

Blue had a point to make.  So envision this, huge Blue was right on my tiny daughter's behind.  Aut realized this and picked up the pace like I had never seen her before.  She was running, shrieking towards her dad, Blue had her head down running after her.

Ok, stop.  All I could do was watch in fear and horror.  I was too far away.  Blue was 2 inches from my child, snorting with her nose just inches from my tiny little child.  She was protecting her baby and I had no shot at protecting mine. 

Husband immediately started running towards daughter and Blue.  He said he had no idea what he was going to do when he got to her because Blue had the power to plow both of them down, but he was running towards them just the same.

We realized that Blue could have at any moment picked Aut up with her head and tossed her into the air, she was that close.  She could have just run right over her, but she didn't.  When I said Blue knew us, we had her for years, it was like she was part of the family.  And this day she proved it.

When husband got to Aut, in nano seconds, he, in a flash, picked her up and got his body between her and Blue, but Blue had already stopped.  She just stopped, everybody stopped, it took a second for me to breath normal again.  It was as if she was making a point, keep the kids away from my baby or I will scare you all.  We believe she had no intention of hurting Aut, just making a point.  Wow.  My son, younger than Aut, was watching this whole event unfold, lessons learned the hard way!

Poor Aut, she took it well and to hear her tell this story, it is so much more detailed on her part!  No lasting horror for her, no inhibitions going forward.  It was part of our lives!  Again, wow.  It took me a minute to breath again and it wasn't too long that we were telling this story with humor!  Lots of laughing again.  (although for awhile, a quick thought would take my breath again)

My kids were raised with free run on all of this property.  They often, to this day, comment on how fun their childhood was and wish their own children had the never ending playground to grow up on.  Sometimes I cannot believe the endless imagination this spawned.  Although I do often think about the risks that were overshadowed by the experiences.  So different than how it is today.

So as for Blue, pay attention, it all boils down to knowing someone, even a cow, knowing the game plan.  I love you guys but pay attention to the boundaries, I will chase you!

Be Happy People! ... but don't test the big beast!

Hot Time In The City!!!

Or the country, doesn't matter, it is super hot in Texas!

Good grief, someone pull the shades, bring on the rain, shoot in amongst us, we gotta have some relief!

Sweltering, smothering, lake level lowering, AC killing, UV dominating heat.  After a certain time of day, even my beloved patio is a danger zone.  I love, love, love Texas but this is the time of year (came early, I think) that I wish I had a summer home somewhere else!

People are always surprised when we are playing in the sun while they are still in danger of snow or cold weather, but this is the down side.  Temps over 100 in July, August and sometimes September.  That is when we are lucky they don't start in June.

I was watching the weather the other day, fruitless at best.  And the familiar, huge circle over Texas with the big "H" marking the High that won't allow anything but high temps and no rain, just sits there.  Depressing, especially when they say it will be there awhile.  All around the big "H" circle, in the bordering states, there was rain and lower temps just dancing around us as if to harass us. 

I also saw on Facebook a picture of a once used deck with a long walkway just sitting in the middle of what seemed like a field of grass.  It was described as where the lake used to be in my home town, ugh!

Is this unusual?  No.  Is it OMG signs of global warming or apocalypse ahead?  No.  It is Texas.  On a year of less rain in April, May and June and the temps raise to over 100.  It happens.  It has been worse, I can remember a couple of years we went down in the history books of record weather.  So what do we do?  We don more sunscreen, drink more water, pay higher electric bills, forgo the make up that will just melt off anyway and wait for the break.

We will be rocking great temps when a lot of people will be seeing their first snowfall.  We will be wearing shorts to Ranger playoffs, Football and Halloween.  We won't rake leaves until way into November or December.  We will be sitting on patios at the restaurants.  We did that the other day and it became uncomfortable before we left, even in the shade it was hot.

It is our trade-off, we don't shovel snow, pretty much ever.  So, ok sun, go for it!  Just praying for some rain! 

Be Happy People and Texans - don't forget the sun block!!!

Alright Football!

Go Cowboys!!!!!

Jr.

I just want Dale Jr to Win!

62-50!

62-50!!!  Rangers beats the A's 4-0!